In the next three years, we have a Jason Bourne sequel, a 300 prequel, a National Treasure three-quel and another shot of Star Trek, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, James Bond, The Transformers, John Conner, the Madagascar critters, the Toy Story action figures, the Ice Age dinos, Inspector Clouseau, Wolverine, Harry Potter, the Hobbits, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Robin Hood AND The Wolf Man in store for moviegoers. I’m all for Iron Man II, but do we really need another Night at the Museum? Dwayne Johnson in Race to Witch Mountain could be fun, and maybe Hoodwinked 2 will be better than the original, but do we really need Anchorman 2 or another round of those dull Narnia kids being upstaged by CGI creatures? Why would we sit through Jumper II or Wild Hogs Ride Again when the originals were, to be polite, less than classics? Here are ten sequels that AREN’T being made, but dangit, they should be!
1. Beetlejuice in Love
The script was written years ago, and sounded promising. Tim Burton could use a break from all the large scale movies he’s been making, in favor of the kind of small, black comedies (like Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Ed Wood and the original Beetlejuice) he does so well. Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder are certainly available to do it. Do I need to say his name three times to get this greenlit?
2. Hot Fuzz II
I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original (that would be SG Dave), but I enjoyed it, particularly the chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Can’t you just see them in another vehicle, in which they pack heat, send-up more action movie clichés and level another small town? Another Shaun of the Dead would be pushing it, but another round of Angel and Butterman would be hilarious!
3. Innerspace II
Director Joe Dante has stated that the open-ended finale of Innerspace was meant as a joke, on the level of the last scene of Back to the Future (though that one still got two follow-ups). In fact, Dante said critics complained that the sequel-ready closing scene smacked of smarmy confidence…which wasn’t the case when Innerspace flopped. Now, it’s got a loyal cult following… and Martin Short could use a great movie. Sequel, please?
4. Gremlins 3
Speaking of Dante, I’d love a third round of those hilariously mischievous Gremlins. A recent overseas ad utilized the 80’s monsters brilliantly (you can see that at the end of this article) and the witty mayhem of the first two films plays as well today as it did years ago. With Dante attached and Steven Spielberg producing, this would have can’t-miss written all over it.
5. The Incredibles Return
The Pixar gang is at work on Up!, counting all the money Wall-E is pouring in and planning another Toy Story. After the return of Woody and Buzz Lightyear, wouldn’t you love to see another adventure with Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash and Jack Jack? Plus, Frozone could get more screen time and Edna E. Mode could make a triumphant return! Who wouldn’t want to see that?!
6. Superbad 2
Seth, Evan and Mclovin’ are back. Mclovin uses his phony I.D. and winds up a foreign exchange student in Hawaii. Seth and Evan are kicked out of high school after crashing their prom and head to Hawaii to meet girls and bail Mclovin’ out of jail. Does Sony want to pay me to write the screenplay?
7. The Goonies II
Sean Astin recently said at the Denver Starfest that he wants it to happen, as do the rest of the cast. Richard Donner wants to see it happen as well. Warner Brothers has been looking at acceptable scripts for decades and the project has been dormant, border lining on dead. Donner and the original cast need to make this before either a rotten remake is greenlit or, worse, this winds up on the level of the straight-to-DVD Lost Boys sequel.
8. John Carpenter’s Escape from Earth
Dave, Josh and anyone who’s even a casual listener of SG Radio has heard me lament over this project time and time again. The rumor is that Carpenter has the screenplay for this, the third Snake Plissken adventure, just sitting in his desk. Following the flop of Escape from L.A., no studio has been interested and the character was resurrected in a brief comic book run. Only Carpenter and Kurt Russell can bring Snake back. I hope they get the chance.
9. Alien V
Directed by Ridley Scott and starring Sigourney Weaver. As Scott has said time and time again, he wants to make a film set on the plant of the aliens. Weaver can finally put the character to rest, under the direction of Scott, who cast her in the role of her career. Both have moved on to great films and have expressed fading interest in doing this. Yet, could you imagine a film so great that it makes up for not only Alien three and four, but both AVP movies?!
10. Buckaroo Banzai Vs. The World Crime League
The closing credit of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the 8th Dimension had a Coming Soon marker for this, one of the most famous sequels never made. The plot to Buckaroo 2 has popped up in comic book form but the rights to the character for a film have become murky and the cast and crew have moved on. However, the entire cast of this cult phenomenon is older but still hip and available. After all, No Matter Where You Go, There You Are!